Thursday, February 26, 2009


I was on my way to my therapy appointment on Tuesday, running late as usual, and I thought, "I wonder if I was late to my own birth." Note to self: ask Ma when her due date was, and if I was running late then as well.

My book group selected Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol for our March meeting. Yay, a book I already owned! It has been slow going, but on the up side, I think I tried to read it twice before and never finished, whereas this time, I've gotten much further than my previous attempts.

I went to a talk last night by an author who wrote a book inspired by To Kill a Mockingbird. The Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library has been doing The Big Read in February, and have had a great marketing push for Mockingbird. I wish I'd had time to attend more of the programs. I'm hoping Jeff and the boys will see the film with me at the library on Saturday afternoon. We have basketball games from 9am to noon, and I'm thinking, after all the basketball I've watched (and taped, and dubbed to DVD, and my scheduling assistance), the least they can do is come watch a free movie, based on a great book. I'll let you know if that actually happens. But anyway, there weren't a LOT of people at the event last night, and after the author mentioned The Book Thief, I went ahead and raised my hand and talked about how The Book Thief reminded me of To Kill a Mockingbird, in that both seemed completely perfect, that I wouldn't change a word, and that the characters are so real to me in both, that they seem to exist apart from their authors, in a sense beyond their authors. Of course there's a lot of Harper Lee in her book, but it also lives apart from her. I hope I made sense...a little.

There was a TV cameraman at the event last night, and I saw myself on the 10pm news for about one second. It was a shot of the audience from halfway across the room, so no one would know it was me if they weren't looking for me or didn't know where I'd sat. In that one second, I had to admit: I'm fat. I'm too fat. I hardly had any will power my whole life, and then I was able to get some starting in August 2004, and then in May 2005, my dad died, and it slipped away from me. Now it's almost four years later, I've gained back all the weight I had lost, and Papa died in September, and I don't see any will power in sight. Where can I get some of that stuff? How do I get it and keep it?

Jeff and I took the boys to Great Wolf Lodge in Kansas City on Sunday, spent the night, and left early Monday afternoon. Kyle's birthday was Valentine's Day, and he was harping on us for several weeks before that about going to Great Wolf, and we finally agreed. So it was a bit belated, but he had a great time. Ryan wasn't a fan of the big slides, and I'm not a fan of swimming-related activities in general, so we had some fun, but it wasn't a dream day off or anything. I did read a good amount of Dead Souls, so that was good. One of my favorite moments of the trip, though, was coming through the lobby and seeing a couple of teen girls/young women reading. As I passed, I saw a back cover that said "Howards End." I paused and leaned over a bit toward the girl and said, "You're reading Howards End?" She smiled broadly and said, "Yes - oh, actually, it's A Room with a View," and showed me the front cover. We were both just smiling, and I said, "I love Forster." And then I continued back to the room with a happy sigh in my heart.

Tomorrow night is the last SportZone basketball game for the boys, and their last Y games are next Saturday. After that, Ryan will have baseball practices, and games starting later in the spring, but at least Jeff won't be the coach. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait for it to be over.

And then it will be spring. And when it gets warm, I will walk outside and listen to wonderful audiobooks.